I never wish anything bad out into the ether, but this administration hasn’t had the best interest of the people of this country at the core of their decisions.
But this blog isn’t about my political beliefs. It’s just difficult having to wake every day with fear. Fear that in 2-3 months, my daughter may or may not have her parents. Or may lose one of her parents. Or, heaven forbid gets sick like so many kids who are dying of Kawasaki disease. It’s terrifying.
Today our daughter had a serious conversation with myself and my husband separately. It was as serious a conversation as a 4 year old could have.
First she tells my husband that she misses adventures, going to get ice cream, going to the beach, going to the candy store in Point Pleasant. He told her that he misses it too. She also lamented on how bored she is. She doesn’t have a full understanding of what is happening around her, but she definitely is feeling the weight of it.
Later, we went for a walk around the block, when the weather cleared up, and I asked her to put on her mask as I was. She finally asked me why we need to wear them. What is happening that we have to wear these to protect ourselves. I explained that there’s a really bad germ that is making people very very sick. It’s called Coronavirus. And in order to protect ourselves and others, we have to wear masks and stay at a distance from others. That’s why we can’t go to school or work or on adventures. These are currently the rules. She thought about it for a moment and said “Okay Mommy.” And then we went to look at the pretty flowers planted in the grounds by the entrance to the Kosciuszko bridge.
So that was a bandaid that came off today. It felt heavier to my husband and I, but it was necessary.
I also worry that there will be no pre-k this year for her. There’s still no city plan in place. And there’s still no plan for my biz. It’s still too soon to tell what will happen. But my savings is going to be gone by August 1st, so that’s stressful.
We’re going to take a ride and spend the night at the shore house. I just hope it’s all okay and I feel a little relief from the same four walls. I need to look at another four walls.